Pam Shows Her Bo-Hiney
I showed my butt at a meeting last night. We have a member I'll call Mr. AssholePants and he and I got into a heated debate before the meeting about "meeting politics". I told him twice that I was not up for the conversation because my feelings were very tender right now and that I was starting to take all his comments personally. He just kept on. I did not know what to do so I got up (admittedly-kind of dramatically) and walked out. Several members followed me out side to remind me that he was an asshole and not to let his crap get to me. I felt embarrassed by walking out but I went back in sat thru the meeting and then had to sit thru (and lead) the group conscious afterward. Mr. AssholePants started his stuff again during the group conscious but I had prayed quite a bit during the meeting about my behavior and it all went well.
I can not be of maximum service to God if I start taking the behavior of alcoholics and addicts as personal affronts. It's not all about me even if it feels that it is. I am not comfortable with all these raw feelings. I have learned from experience that there is always joy in what God leads us through but we damn sure better be looking for it because it is not always evident in the beginning.
I shot my bow and arrow yesterday until my shoulder started hurting. It is a solitary activity that I love and it seems to rest my mind. I shoot with a re-curve bow, not a compound--if you're interested.
Pammie
21 OK JUST SAY IT!:
I wouldn't know the difference in bows. I would imagine you have to be strong to do that.
I always thought bo-hineys were meant to be seen.
Pam I think you are holding yourself to some standard that you shouldn't. Grief is important and real and give yourself credit for not punching asshole-pants in the mouth, just sayin'. I read your weekend posts and really could relate to you in every way.
Please feel free to email me if you ever need to. It sounds like you have plenty of wise and loving people in your life. jeNN
I tend toward dramatic exits. It's not always a good idea, but hiding our true emotions is hard for some of us.
archery and falconry, those two sports have always fascinated me...
Pammie, I think you are just wonderful. It would take me three paragraphs to tell you why, so I will just say, it is an honor to know you. XXXOOO, MC
Sounds like some good recovery to me.
As far as your bo-hiney is concerned, it's possible that hAAlf-nAAked thursdAAy may come back, so at that time .....
You are so strong. I say 'restraint of tongue and pen' to myself 300 times and then I say something cold and sarcastic when I should have walked outside with my lips sealed.
Assholes are a nuisance. Nuff said...you did just fine it sounds like to me. ((hug))
Sometimes men wearing asshole pants just need a good swift kick...see that's why we need you here Pammie...
Pam...I agree wholeheartedly with JeNN...you know I would have probably shown ye olde bo-hiney and left...you did what you did and you knew what the tools were...wow!
Oh and Scott W.'s comment...great...yes Bo-Hineys meant to be shown...LOL!
Love you!
G
I am proud of you for taking care of you, being true to you, and sittin back down in an AA meeting despite your embarassment. Some people just can not quit, and damn they can make it uncomfortable for the rest of us...
sending you love and good healing thoughts (((hugs)))
you know what, when i am dealing with a difficult addict, i ask myself this question; 'is there something else i would rather do with my time then to sit here and tolerate intolerable behavior?' i do not have to accept intolerable people. that means i am free to leave, if it is in a huff then so be it, that is my personal decision, because you know what i have found out is this, you only get one shot at life and i am not going to waste my time in a bad situation, why be angry when there is enough of that shit going on, i deserve to be happy and it is that simple. i am glad you chose to walk out, learn to stand in your own truth and let the rest go, i am a work in progress as we all are with that one, but the point is still the same, be happy there are enough people being sad or mad or otherwise miserable. and don't be upset with yourself for being honest even if being honest wasn't pretty, our emotions usually are not pretty. take care of you
Lord, honey, I showed my bo-hiney last week and I know it hurt me more than it hurt the other guy.
It wasn't until the words were out of my mouth that I could hear my sponsor's voice in my head: Remember restraint of tongue, and why are you letting that asshole mess with your serenity anyway?
Oh, well. I've danced the 10th step and am letting it go. It was a good reminder for me that my ego is still looking for chances to buck up. Your message helped this morning.
Having sat through more than one AA function with mister AssholePants (he's everywhere), I can really appreciate the love and tolerance it can take to sometimes just keep a seat in the program.
Glad you got through it - for now. If it were all about always doing this thing with grace and style, I would have flunked out long ago.
Blessings and aloha...
I hope that Mr. Assholepants photo wasn't what you used for a target. Pam, I think that our humanness just comes through at times. Some days everything seems overwhelming. And with all that you've been through that is understandable.
oh, i totally want to see a picture of your bow and arrow. i can't imagine being able to do that as a hobby- that might be against the law in these city limits. since you're in texas, does carry a bow and arrow in bag around town constitute carrying a concealed weapon? (these are things i ponder on monday afternoons :)
I woulda keyed him in the bo-Hiney for you for interfering with your serenity. You rock. I love bows and arrows. We usually shoot compound. I could shoot for hours it is such a zen sport.
Good for you.
Phew! I really thought you dropped trou in the meeting! Carry on, carry on!
How DARE he pick on a girl who just lost her Mama. Insensitive asshole!! Let me at 'em!
MAHP should just FO. Take the bow or an arrow to the next meeting and smile at him.
I've struggled with similar feelings this week. These folks selfishly use others to meet whatever need they have....when i have too many areas of drama happening in my life, these people can seem like a Godsend because I think "yay, I get to unload on somebody who's just asking for it!" Then I realize, "Oh....I guess this is me selfishly using others to meet some need" ---blush....
About 30 years ago a big saying in my home group was "don't let the asshole pants people get you down."
Not exactly but close.
You've never been in this place before. It will get better.
You are awesome!!!
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