Explaining Me to Me
OK, I'm sunburned. I mostly stayed in the pool yesterday. I just refused to do anything. Sort of like a three year old....."I don't wanna!"
Ms. SoberPants and her boyfriend came over and we waited for my grandsons aunt to bring him. He came. We all swam.
Ya know what? I'm grieving my husbands job loss. My life has changed drastically, just as it did when we married, only in the other direction. It is an adjustment and I was feeling so guilty because I was losing so many luxuries and it was uncomfortable. I decided last night that "hell yeah" of course it's uncomfortable when you loose things. I mainly want to do nice things for my Mother right now and I can not afford to. Of course that's hard. I want to buy my grandson toys while he's here and I can not afford to. I feel guilty about grieving "things". I've decided it's OK to grieve "things" sometimes. I understand the difference. I'm not "about" stuff. But I'm human and losing stuff is hard. I've had a housekeeper twice a month for 5 years, she's gone. My gray roots are showing and I need a hair cut, gone. Starbucks gone. Eating out gone. Vacation gone. So Pammie, it's OK to grieve "things and stuff" sometimes, but get on with it, it's OK.......so there.
My husbands health has declined since the job loss and fretting about him has made it impossible to worry about the "lost stuff" out loud. I've been sober long enough to know that sometimes things are going on inside very "out loud" silently. I'm grateful for my life and husband.
Hey, having a sunburn today when the heat index is at.....oh....106 should be lovely, don't you think?
I'm happy to go to work today. I want normalcy above all else. I'm a "rut" person by nature I think.
I'm about to do Page 86, then shower, then dress, then drive.......ahhhhh....routine!
Stayin' in the day.
Pammie
17 OK JUST SAY IT!:
I just read page 86..co incidence..I think not!!
You got a lot going on. Pray. And pray. You are in my thoughts.
Aspirin or Ibuprofen will help with sunburn, it will soothe the little nerve endings that have been irritated by the sun. Prayer will usually pretty much take care of the rest of it.
Hope your day of normalcy is just what you need.
After reading Sunday's post, I am glad you gave yourself a day off Pam. It's OK to take care of yourself! Sorry about the sunburn though.
I totally understand and I think it's OK to grieve. It will get better and you know it.
Are lemons an ingredient in lemonade?
And routine rut: Yeah, sort of like what I've been hearing for a long time, "Don't drink and go to meetings."
What a tremendous God-inspired rut!
Guilt, grieving, "out loud" silently. I'm relating to every word here. I wish it was as clear to me the reasons 'why'. Probably should do some writing...just don't wanna.
Thinking of you Pam. Grieve all that you need to. It is the only way you will be able to move on.
I got a sunburn yesterday as well , but while driving in my wrangler with the top down... your way of being in a pool would have been much more enjoyable...
As for the grieving of things and stuff - I know this wanting to do for others but being limitted with resources to do much.
Cat
It sounds as if you needed the break. I don't do well with a lot of major changes. And it sounds as if there have been some changes in your life. I have to remember that what I really need and what I want are two different things. Hang in there.
Sorry about your sunburn & pain around work and stuff. Been there re: money, stuff, etc. It's not my favorite part. I had to leave a sponsor who believed that God will restore all our stuff when we get right with Him so I lost my stuff and an important spiritual guide.
Through it all, I've not lost my health (yet) and so it's not as bad as Job - on the outside. It still sucks...
Blessings, aloha and hope to you and yours...
Job loss...Been there. Done that. Yep, still 'there'. My heart goes out to those still getting 'pinked.
For me, losing my job was one of those defining moments in life. I knew I had a choice: I could choose to lose my way (my mind) or rise to the challenge and follow what my Spirit tells me to do, always remembering that I am more than a statistic on the news.
I'll share with you what I was told the day I got "set free" (laid off) from my job: "This is a new chapter in your life. WRITE ONE HELL OF A CHAPTER!" And I did just that! Will you?
So if you just need a break from the doom and gloom, let me send you a FREE (no strings, really!) book download. Sign up at: www.noexpertsneeded dot com
Yes, times are tough, but it doesn't mean that we can't still 'give back' to
one another. This is simply my way...
take care,
Louise Lewis, author
No Experts Needed: The Meaning of Life According to You!
www.noexpertsneeded.com
Hugs to you across the miles today. Gentle ones so as not to hurt your sunburned shoulders.
When I was younger I adored the sun, now I avoid it at all costs! Take me milky white or leave me haha! I know things are kinda shitty right now-but with a loving God and your program things WILL turn around-don't they always? I will shoot some good vibes over towards you all, be well my friend.
Darn right it's OK to grieve "things." Grieving's a feeling, and feelings just happen. Sorry for your losses, and I hope that your husband's health and job situation can improve soon.
We've given up many of those little things you mention - Starbucks was a tough one. I still cheat pretty regularly on that one.
lots of aloe works wonders. it's like magic green goo. here to a nice, normal monday
Feel it then let it go!!
Vinegar will sooth the sunburn, you'll smell like a pickle but you will not blister. I found this out as a teenager and it's always
worked.
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